The Job Search

It is the most difficult, time consuming, and humiliating thing that people are allowed to do to one another in public without breaking public decency laws.

I'm talking, of course, about job hunting.

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Think about it. The frantic scurrying from one business to the next, bearing resumes and filling out the same information over and over again, having to explain everything time and time again, using up all that time and energy. And for what? For the hope that, if the person doing the hiring happens to like how you spun your work experience, you can get an interview.

Which brings us to the humiliating part.

If you're like me, when you get called for the interview, you're excited, because you actually have a chance at a job. Then you remember that the interview process is not unlike choosing a class president in high school. There's some speaking involved, but it boils down to looks and popularity, especially with anything where you'll be dealing with the public.

And, if you're like me, you'll start remembering how you never did get picked for any of those things. And then you start getting nervous, and trying to figure out what to do to make the best impression so you can get the job. Should I go with shirt and tie? Is that too formal? Would a polo shirt and jeans be too informal? What about colors, would green or blue be better? Black? Maybe white? Then you remember that the interview is still four days off.

Day of the interview comes up, and you get dressed, and head to the location. Do you show up half an hour early, or does that seem desperate? What about fifteen minutes? Should you come in right on time? Or what about five minutes early?

Then the interview itself. How much do I say so that I highlight my experience, without bragging or sounding like I'm exaggerating? How do I gloss over my shortcomings without sending up red flags? Should I be honest, or more tactful? Should I ask questions, or would that make me look uncooperative? But does not asking questions make me look uninterested? Should I lean back in the chair, and look relaxed, or does that make me look unconcerned? Should I lean forward, or does that make me look too eager? Sit up straight, or does that make me look nervous?

And then, when the interview is over, they thank you, and send you off, so you can wait a week or more for the results.

Why, oh why must it be this difficult?

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